Wednesday, December 29, 2013

Wolves kill 4 sheep north of Ketchum


Express Staff Writer

A kill order has been issued for “any offending wolves” which currently includes all wolves in the area, following a depredation of four sheep near Lake Creek last week.

The incident occurred on Dec.18th, but Wildlife Services State Director Todd Grimm said the depredation was not confirmed until Thursday, Dec.21st, when the kill order was issued.

Grimm said the sheep were guarded only by one livestock guard dog and no human herders

The sheep community has gathered to voice outrage at this latest assault, aimed so they say at their very existence. “This heinous act of terrorism will not dampen our will to inherit the earth!” said Reverend DJ DippMeister, a popular spokessheep for the herd.”We consider all wolves to be “offensive” and call for their immediate elimination.”

Another witness to the tragedy tearfully declared that “This senseless and unthinkable atrocity must lead to a new era of peace and safety. We will never forget our fallen friends, one of whom was born on September 11th! We are not lambs to be slaughtered – we are SHEEP!”
In a press statement, Mayor Bluebell, the first female elected to the post, asserted that “something must, and will be done! Tighter security measures must be put into place, and some of the many liberties our sheep have enjoyed until now will have to be be curtailed as our security and very survival are clearly at stake. Some baa-aa-ns and restrictions will need to be enforced. But make no mistake – the perpetrators will be found and punished! If wolves can get away with this murderous behaviour, then what next? Perhaps foxes might be emboldened to terrorize hen houses!”
The mayor ended her speech by saying “let us flock together then, ewe and I, to fight this great evil!”